i’m coming up on my 1 year ampuversary next month. something i never thought i would be recognizing. some may not know what it is, and its simply the anniversary of my amputation. in the vedic philosophy it is taught that we are not this body. i had detached from my body when i broke my ankle in 2015. i had 7 surgeries to try to get back to having a normal ankle. a functional ankle. with each surgery that led up to my amputation i became more and more aware that i am not this body. i remember the appointment with my surgeon clearly. i told him “im done. we have tried everything. please just cut my leg off” and we had discussed amputation before and i think then he knew i was ready. most people would think that the month leading up to my amputation would be full of doubt. it wasn’t. i took that phrase we are not this body to heart.

since my amputation i have had good times and bad times. i have not grieved the loss of my leg but i have attempted to grieve my independence. i’ve been struggling with walking and that has been the most frustrating part. people say to me “i see amputees run and walk all the time!” but the truth of the matter is not everyone is blessed with a quick recovery. i certainly wasn’t. and i’m slowly coming to terms with that. slowly.