religion and spirituality is something i have struggled with since my teens. i was a methodist for a long time (my families religion) but i always felt awkward in church. for some reason the word God makes me feel uncomfortable. even now. ive been into and out of buddhism and krishna consciousness for several years now. since college i suppose. the feeling of community is something i seek. fitting in, having friends, and having support. i’ve been searching for that for years. growing up i was definitely an outsider. when i came out as trans to my guru he rejected me (we have since fixed our relationship). punk rock was something that i always felt like i fit in cause it was with folks who also didn’t fit it. we were the weirdos. i’ve met some amazing friends.

i’ve been doing daily readings of the Bhagavad Gita with some folks for over a month now. its been cool and has strengthened my spirituality. i still feel self conscious as i have trouble reading, but its been an over all good thing. i still struggle with my spirituality and maybe i always will. maybe doubting is part of who i am. who knows?